11:21 PM Eastern Time
Saturday, October 20, 2007

 

Catquake

My mom with the tasty hair is quite frightened of EARTHQUAKES. Personally I don't see what all the fuss is about. The house wiggles a bit, but SO DOES MY POSTERIOR WHEN I AM ABOUT TO POUNCE and so I don't see why the house shouldn't shake it a little every now and then.

When there is an earthquake, my mom with the tasty hair latches on to my mom with the comfy lap. Then my mom with the comfy lap says soothing things and makes my other mom feel better. I do not think this is fair. When I latch on to either of my moms, it is all JEEZ, CAT, WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CLINGY? and GO FIND A FUZZY TO HUNT and I WOULD LIKE MY LEG BACK NOW, PLEASE.

Sometimes my mom with the tasty hair is so hypervigilant about earthquakes that SHE THINKS THERE IS ONE WHEN THERE IS NOT. Usually this happens when the neighbors slam the door or when my mom with the comfy lap is JUMPING UP AND DOWN elsewhere in the house. This is decidedly NOT PERMITTED but my other mom does it anyway, for she has LEARNED FROM THE BEST regarding PROHIBITED ACTIVITIES.

Last night I was doing some INVESTIGATING upstairs while my moms were downstairs. I knocked over a small pile of things COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT, and my mom with the tasty hair thought it was an earthquake. So she latched on to my other mom, who said soothing things to her like IT WAS NOT AN EARTHQUAKE, HONEY, IT WAS THE CAT and LET'S GO UPSTAIRS TO SEE WHAT THE CAT DID. But my mom with the tasty hair was too scared to go upstairs, so she got some more soothing things said to her.

My mom with the comfy lap came upstairs and found absolutely nothing amiss. So they went on the computer to see if there had really been an earthquake. WHICH THERE HADN'T BEEN.

My moms were very confused.

Somewhere upstairs there is still a pile of things that I knocked over. I hope my moms do not find it. Because then I will surely get a very not soothing TALKING-TO.

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12:48 PM Eastern Time
Friday, October 19, 2007

 

Lap time

My mom with the comfy lap is, once again, doing a lot of HOMEWORK. This means that her comfy lap is frequently available to me as a place to sit.

However, sometimes she does her homework at the kitchen table, which is a place where I am DEFINITELY NOT ALLOWED. My moms say that I am not permitted on any piece of furniture which is not upholstered, which means that EVERYTHING IN THE KITCHEN IS OFF-LIMITS. But the little noises that her computer makes upon starting up are like a siren call to me. Whenever I hear those little clicks and whirrs, I dash to wherever she is because it usually means LAP TIME IS COMING.

But when she is doing her homework at the kitchen table, I know I am not allowed to jump into her lap. So I sit at her feet and meow plaintively. Sometimes I even put a tentative paw on her knee, just to remind her that I AM THERE AND WANTING LAP TIME.

Sometimes my mom with the comfy lap will get tired of my begging and will actually give in. She will take her homework to the couch, and then I will settle in her lap for a nice cuddly snooze. And my mom with the tasty hair will be all I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE REINFORCING THE CAT even though she is really quite amused by the whole business.

But my mom with the tasty hair has started using my other mom's computer. It makes the same lovely clicks and whirrs when it starts up, but I don't come running to sit in her lap. I know I am not allowed on her lap anymore, on account of the KITTEN. So I will sit next to her and STARE HER DOWN, or I will climb up behind her head and NIBBLE ON HER SCALP; but I will not sit in her lap the way I would if my other mom were there with the computer instead.

Sometimes I get confused when my one mom is doing homework in the kitchen without her computer. I will come and request LAP TIME until I realize that the computer (WHICH IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THIS ACTIVITY) is not there. Then I quickly change tactics and start meowing at my other mom, who also does not have the computer, even though I do not want to sit in her lap.

Alas, my moms are onto me. For they are all HEY, I THINK THE CAT DOESN'T WANT US TO REALIZE THAT SHE JUST FIGURED OUT THAT THE COMPUTER IS NOT HERE. But then my mom with the tasty hair will TOSS SOME TREATS AT ME, and it is all good.

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