you can't eat that!
1:43 PM Eastern Time
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Activities of daily living
Yes, Manders and Manders' mom, I have been eating stuff. I have just been a little on the fatigued side, and to be honest, more interested in LICKING MYSELF than in blogging. This worries both of my moms, but I hereby proudly state that I have not produced any hairballs on account of all this licking.
At least, I have not produced any hairballs that my moms have found.
My moms, for their part, have not been as excited about their activities of daily living as I have been about my own. They have especial problems with WAKING UP IN THE MORNING, which (according to my one mom with the tasty hair) is the most important of the ADL's (so my mom with the tasty hair abbreviates it) because you can't accomplish any ADL's at all WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING.
My mom with the tasty hair says that eating regular meals is also a big ADL, though she declines to say whether this includes the occasional consumption of floor candy. Due to my LACK OF OPPOSABLE THUMBS I can't get into my food by myself, which my moms say is a HUMONGOUS BLESSING but which I say is a HUMONGOUS PAIN IN MY BUTT because I have to depend on my (often undependable) moms for the accomplishment of this apparently extraordinarily important ADL.
When my moms do not wake up at the appropriate hour, I must take matters into my own paws. I am fully capable of pulling the covers off my moms, but I don't. My mom with the tasty hair thinks she has trained me not to do this, but really I just think it's more fun to meow incessantly, head-butt my moms into submission, and LICK THEIR EARLOBES once the alarm goes off.
Even so, sometimes my moms persist in ignoring their number-one ADL. I used to get my moms up by licking the covers of library books, which they say is gross and YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT BOOK HAS BEEN. On the contrary. I can taste exactly where that book has been, and trust me, you don't want to know.
So now I keep my book-licking on the down-low, and I lick the blinds instead.
My moms will warn me that CAT, YOU WILL CUT YOUR TONGUE ON THERE, which I am proud to say I have never once done. They think I lick the blinds for the same reason that I lick the library books, the windowpanes, and the carpet--that is, because they taste good. On the contrary. I know that humans (being inferior to cats) have a very hard time sleeping while light is pouring into the room. One needs opposable thumbs to open the blinds, but as previously mentioned I do not have such appendages. So really I am not licking the blinds per se. I am merely trying to OPEN THEM WITH MY TONGUE, such that my sleeping moms wake up and get started on my ADL's.
At least, I have not produced any hairballs that my moms have found.
My moms, for their part, have not been as excited about their activities of daily living as I have been about my own. They have especial problems with WAKING UP IN THE MORNING, which (according to my one mom with the tasty hair) is the most important of the ADL's (so my mom with the tasty hair abbreviates it) because you can't accomplish any ADL's at all WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING.
My mom with the tasty hair says that eating regular meals is also a big ADL, though she declines to say whether this includes the occasional consumption of floor candy. Due to my LACK OF OPPOSABLE THUMBS I can't get into my food by myself, which my moms say is a HUMONGOUS BLESSING but which I say is a HUMONGOUS PAIN IN MY BUTT because I have to depend on my (often undependable) moms for the accomplishment of this apparently extraordinarily important ADL.
When my moms do not wake up at the appropriate hour, I must take matters into my own paws. I am fully capable of pulling the covers off my moms, but I don't. My mom with the tasty hair thinks she has trained me not to do this, but really I just think it's more fun to meow incessantly, head-butt my moms into submission, and LICK THEIR EARLOBES once the alarm goes off.
Even so, sometimes my moms persist in ignoring their number-one ADL. I used to get my moms up by licking the covers of library books, which they say is gross and YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT BOOK HAS BEEN. On the contrary. I can taste exactly where that book has been, and trust me, you don't want to know.
So now I keep my book-licking on the down-low, and I lick the blinds instead.
My moms will warn me that CAT, YOU WILL CUT YOUR TONGUE ON THERE, which I am proud to say I have never once done. They think I lick the blinds for the same reason that I lick the library books, the windowpanes, and the carpet--that is, because they taste good. On the contrary. I know that humans (being inferior to cats) have a very hard time sleeping while light is pouring into the room. One needs opposable thumbs to open the blinds, but as previously mentioned I do not have such appendages. So really I am not licking the blinds per se. I am merely trying to OPEN THEM WITH MY TONGUE, such that my sleeping moms wake up and get started on my ADL's.
Labels: modus operandi
