you can't eat that!
2:51 PM Eastern Time
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Self-service
My mom with the comfy lap left the house rather early this morning. I heard her tell my mom with the tasty hair (who was still very much asleep) that I WILL MISS YOU TONIGHT, which leads me to believe that she going someplace other than wherever it is she usually goes during the day.
Also she was PACKING A SUITCASE. I do not like it when PACKING A SUITCASE occurs because it means NO MOMS FOR A WHILE. But it was only my one mom, with the comfy lap, who was PACKING A SUITCASE. My other mom (with the tasty hair), as previously mentioned, was busy SLEEPING.
My mom with the tasty hair slept a lot longer than she usually does in the morning. I think she just did not know that I HAD NOT BEEN FED before my other mom left the house. For if she had known this, she would have awoken earlier and REMEDIED THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY.
While my mom with the tasty hair was still fast asleep, I went into the kitchen to investigate my options. And I discovered that my mom with the comfy lap had made herself some breakfast. This would have been two pieces of TOAST, had she not been in such a rush to go wherever it was she was going with her suitcase. In her haste it seems my one mom FORGOT ABOUT HER BREAKFAST.
I would NEVER do a thing like that.
Of course, I am not one to let things go to waste. I hopped up on the counter, removed a piece of TOAST from the toaster, and retreated to the floor to have my way with it.
When my mom with the tasty hair finally woke up, she was very confused as to why I was so quiet. Normally I am EXTREMELY VOCAL in the morning, on account of my hunger. She went into the kitchen to determine whether my other mom had fed me. And then she found the remains of my TOAST.
I suppose she was still somewhat asleep, as it was not all BAD CAT! CATS DO NOT EAT TOAST! like I was expecting. Instead she found it very funny. And then she called my mom with the comfy lap and informed her that THE CAT TOOK YOUR BREAKFAST OUT OF THE TOASTER FOR YOU.
Usually I would get in BIG TROUBLE for something like this. But my moms (being human rather than feline) can be unpredictable sometimes.
Also she was PACKING A SUITCASE. I do not like it when PACKING A SUITCASE occurs because it means NO MOMS FOR A WHILE. But it was only my one mom, with the comfy lap, who was PACKING A SUITCASE. My other mom (with the tasty hair), as previously mentioned, was busy SLEEPING.
My mom with the tasty hair slept a lot longer than she usually does in the morning. I think she just did not know that I HAD NOT BEEN FED before my other mom left the house. For if she had known this, she would have awoken earlier and REMEDIED THE SITUATION IMMEDIATELY.
While my mom with the tasty hair was still fast asleep, I went into the kitchen to investigate my options. And I discovered that my mom with the comfy lap had made herself some breakfast. This would have been two pieces of TOAST, had she not been in such a rush to go wherever it was she was going with her suitcase. In her haste it seems my one mom FORGOT ABOUT HER BREAKFAST.
I would NEVER do a thing like that.Of course, I am not one to let things go to waste. I hopped up on the counter, removed a piece of TOAST from the toaster, and retreated to the floor to have my way with it.
When my mom with the tasty hair finally woke up, she was very confused as to why I was so quiet. Normally I am EXTREMELY VOCAL in the morning, on account of my hunger. She went into the kitchen to determine whether my other mom had fed me. And then she found the remains of my TOAST.
I suppose she was still somewhat asleep, as it was not all BAD CAT! CATS DO NOT EAT TOAST! like I was expecting. Instead she found it very funny. And then she called my mom with the comfy lap and informed her that THE CAT TOOK YOUR BREAKFAST OUT OF THE TOASTER FOR YOU.
Usually I would get in BIG TROUBLE for something like this. But my moms (being human rather than feline) can be unpredictable sometimes.
Labels: people food
2:00 PM Eastern Time
Friday, May 11, 2007
Two dinners! (Or, How I fooled my moms)
Last night my one mom, with the tasty hair, went out with Charlie and Lucy's mom. My other mom, with the comfy lap, had not yet come home from work.
Usually when one of my moms leaves before the other gets home, my one mom will call my other mom to let her know whether I have already have dinner. This is because I have been known to YOWL AS THOUGH I HAVE NEVER BEEN FED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE when one of my moms walks into the house, even though I am still digesting my dinner.
As usual, my mom with the tasty hair left a message for my mom with the comfy lap. I overheard her doing so. It was a rather long message, with the first part being about BALANCING THE CHECKBOOK and the second part being about FEEDING THE CAT. I do not have the slightest idea what BALANCING THE CHECKBOOK is about, but I do know that my mom with the tasty hair spent a very long time on it yesterday and this caused her much frustration.
Obviously, I know what FEEDING THE CAT is about. My mom with the tasty hair said in her message I AM GOING TO FEED THE CAT BEFORE I GO, and true to her word, she fed me and then left.
My mom with the comfy lap came in the door a few hours later. She was a little frustrated because she was supposed to feed PIZZA to some people, but none of the people actually came. I thought maybe she would feel better if she got to feed somebody (I.E., ME), and so I put on my best STARVING CAT ACT.
When my mom with the tasty hair came home much later, my mom with the comfy lap said I FED THE CAT. My mom with the tasty hair said DIDN'T YOU GET MY MESSAGE? I SAID I WAS GOING TO FEED THE CAT. And my mom with the comfy lap said OOPS.
And then it was all YOU LITTLE SCAMP! and WHAT A MANIPULATIVE BEAST YOU ARE! and IF YOU PUKE UP TWO DINNERS IN THE NIGHT, I AM GOING TO BE VERY, VERY MAD.
But I just sat there smugly. Naturally I was quite pleased with myself, on account of the success of my little ruse. I would have patted myself on the back, except I CAN'T REACH.
Usually when one of my moms leaves before the other gets home, my one mom will call my other mom to let her know whether I have already have dinner. This is because I have been known to YOWL AS THOUGH I HAVE NEVER BEEN FED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE when one of my moms walks into the house, even though I am still digesting my dinner.
As usual, my mom with the tasty hair left a message for my mom with the comfy lap. I overheard her doing so. It was a rather long message, with the first part being about BALANCING THE CHECKBOOK and the second part being about FEEDING THE CAT. I do not have the slightest idea what BALANCING THE CHECKBOOK is about, but I do know that my mom with the tasty hair spent a very long time on it yesterday and this caused her much frustration.
Obviously, I know what FEEDING THE CAT is about. My mom with the tasty hair said in her message I AM GOING TO FEED THE CAT BEFORE I GO, and true to her word, she fed me and then left.
My mom with the comfy lap came in the door a few hours later. She was a little frustrated because she was supposed to feed PIZZA to some people, but none of the people actually came. I thought maybe she would feel better if she got to feed somebody (I.E., ME), and so I put on my best STARVING CAT ACT.
When my mom with the tasty hair came home much later, my mom with the comfy lap said I FED THE CAT. My mom with the tasty hair said DIDN'T YOU GET MY MESSAGE? I SAID I WAS GOING TO FEED THE CAT. And my mom with the comfy lap said OOPS.
And then it was all YOU LITTLE SCAMP! and WHAT A MANIPULATIVE BEAST YOU ARE! and IF YOU PUKE UP TWO DINNERS IN THE NIGHT, I AM GOING TO BE VERY, VERY MAD.
But I just sat there smugly. Naturally I was quite pleased with myself, on account of the success of my little ruse. I would have patted myself on the back, except I CAN'T REACH.
Labels: brains
