you can't eat that!

This is something I know I'm not supposed to eat. Contrary to what my moms say, I don't actually eat these. I think they are kind of like what people call chewing gum. I SLOBBER ALL OVER THEM and maybe also all over the floor, but I don't actually swallow them. They just taste REALLY, REALLY GOOD.

But I think maybe THEY MIGHT EAT ME. My moms have a lot of these around so they can clean up after my PERSONAL BUSINESS. These things make a lot of SCARY CRINKLY NOISES and I have no choice but to run away and hide. If I can't eat them, they are also not allowed to eat me. That is how it works.

My moms do not understand why I like to put these in my mouth and make crinkly noises, yet I don't like the crinkly noises they make on their own. My one mom, with the hair, calls this an "approach-avoidance conflict" or something like that. I don't know what that means, but anyway, it's TOTALLY A NO-BRAINER:

When I put one of these in my mouth and make crinkly noises with it, I can rest assured that IT IS IN MY MOUTH, and NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

Labels: household items