you can't eat that!
12:05 AM Eastern Time
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Devouring knowledge
My one mom, with the comfy lap, reads a lot of BIG HEAVY BOOKS.
I like to read books too. I do it by osmosis. Feline osmotic reading works both ways--I can read with my butt or with my head. My moms can only read with their eyes. I can even read while I'm asleep. My moms can't do that either. Thus once again we see the SUPERIORITY OF THE FELINE RACE.
My mom with the tasty hair doesn't really read big heavy books anymore. She mostly reads little lightweight ones. She also doesn't read stapled stacks of paper anymore, either. Apparently this is because she got some new letters after her name, which she says stand for DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY but which I think really ought to stand for PLEASE HAVE DINNER. My mom with the comfy lap is trying to get those letters too, which means she has a lot of big heavy books to read.
I try to help my mom with the comfy lap keep her books open. My mom with the comfy lap does not appreciate this. She uses a sand-filled lizard instead. My butt would have done just fine, but no. The lizard gets to read stuff through its belly, and meanwhile MY EDUCATION IS SUFFERING.
Of course, the only logical thing to do in this case is to SUCK KNOWLEDGE OUT OF THE LIZARD'S TAIL.
My mom with the comfy lap does not appreciate this either. She says Guadeloupe (such is the lizard's name, as such reads a big stamp on its belly) appreciates it even less.
I think Guadeloupe is being awfully selfish. I mean, I groom my moms, act as their alarm clock, and (usually) clean up after myself, and what does this Guadeloupe do? Lie around like a sandbag all day, and get FREE TUITION BESIDES.
Higher education is NOT FAIR.
I like to read books too. I do it by osmosis. Feline osmotic reading works both ways--I can read with my butt or with my head. My moms can only read with their eyes. I can even read while I'm asleep. My moms can't do that either. Thus once again we see the SUPERIORITY OF THE FELINE RACE.
My mom with the tasty hair doesn't really read big heavy books anymore. She mostly reads little lightweight ones. She also doesn't read stapled stacks of paper anymore, either. Apparently this is because she got some new letters after her name, which she says stand for DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY but which I think really ought to stand for PLEASE HAVE DINNER. My mom with the comfy lap is trying to get those letters too, which means she has a lot of big heavy books to read.
I try to help my mom with the comfy lap keep her books open. My mom with the comfy lap does not appreciate this. She uses a sand-filled lizard instead. My butt would have done just fine, but no. The lizard gets to read stuff through its belly, and meanwhile MY EDUCATION IS SUFFERING.
Of course, the only logical thing to do in this case is to SUCK KNOWLEDGE OUT OF THE LIZARD'S TAIL.
My mom with the comfy lap does not appreciate this either. She says Guadeloupe (such is the lizard's name, as such reads a big stamp on its belly) appreciates it even less.
I think Guadeloupe is being awfully selfish. I mean, I groom my moms, act as their alarm clock, and (usually) clean up after myself, and what does this Guadeloupe do? Lie around like a sandbag all day, and get FREE TUITION BESIDES.
Higher education is NOT FAIR.
Labels: brains, household items
