you can't eat that!

I am experiencing much stress, for my one mom with the tasty hair now has A LOT LESS TASTY HAIR. A few days ago she left the house with her normal tasty hair, and then a little while later she came back with maybe only a third remaining. It doesn't taste any different--I've already determined this--but it sure looks different. I don't like change. Change puts me under stress. CHANGE IS NOT GOOD.

When I am under stress (and I hear this is also true of humans), I behave differently. Sometimes stress leads me to scratch behind my ears; other times it prompts me to lick myself more; and still other times it cause me to hang around my moms pretty much constantly, except when I need to use the facilities.

This time I have apparently been a VERY BAD CAT. Here is what I have been doing:

My moms were at a picnic and brought home a knife that had been used to cut some meat. My one mom with the comfy lap put it on the kitchen counter and assured my other mom that YES LOVE I WILL WASH THIS AND TAKE IT BACK because it doesn't actually belong to my moms. As my moms went about their evening activities, I went about jumping up on the counter and licking the knife. Indeed, I was very careful not to cut my tongue on the knife, and I was very quiet and sweet about the whole business. Then my mom with the tasty hair came into the kitchen and it was all BAD CAT! NO MEAT KNIVES FOR CATS! and I went scurrying off to another part of the house, where I could lick the last vestiges of raw meat from my lips in peace.

Then last night my mom with the tasty hair heard a little tinkling sound in the kitchen. She went in to investigate and interrupted my own investigation. I had been checking out the pretty little glass thingies in the china cabinet, all quietly and sweetly until one of the pretty little glass thingies caught the light and I got all interested and accidentally knocked it over.

My moms have been leaving the china cabinet open a little because it still smells like varnish sometimes, and my one mom with the comfy lap says this makes the stuff in the pretty little glass thingies taste funny. So it's not like I opened the door myself. Well, okay, I did open the door myself, but IT WAS UNLATCHED WHEN I FOUND IT.

So it was all BAD CAT! CATS DO NOT USE STEMWARE! and so I scrambled to another part of the house while my mom with the tasty hair confirmed that I had not actually broken any of the pretty little glass thingies, only REARRANGED THEM A LITTLE BIT.

Maybe I should find out if my mom can get the rest of her tasty hair put back on. I think this would help matters immensely.

Labels: household items