you can't eat that!
10:30 PM Eastern Time
Friday, February 17, 2006
I am an X-file
A VERY TRAUMATIC THING happened to me a week ago. It has taken me SEVEN DAYS to recover enough to share these events with the rest of the world.
My one mom (with the tasty hair) put me in THE PURPLE BOX OF DEATH last Friday. I complained all the way to the car, to no avail. Then the car started vibrating and making that soothing humming noise and we were moving and all was better. Eut then we were in front of a BIG SCARY BUILDING and it just went DOWNHILL FROM THERE.
I don't know what happened next. But then I found myself crawling out of THE PURPLE BOX OF DEATH onto a COLD METAL TABLE. I am pretty sure I have been there before and some yucky stuff happened those times too.
Then this WEIRD HAIRY CREATURE appeared in front of me. It looked like my moms but it had HAIR ON ITS FACE as well as on its head. My moms have long hair on their heads and no hair on their faces, but this one had short hair on its head and on its face. Normally I would want to taste new things like that but I was unable to move and get a better look at it.
Then the hairy creature PROBED ME IN A VERY PERSONAL REGION. I was really offended but too scared to do anything. Also I was still too scared to taste its hair. Then I was being carried into another secret chamber and POKED AND PRODDED SOME MORE.
When I was carried back into the room with the COLD METAL TABLE, the hairy creature PINCHED MY NECK and then I really couldn't move. I felt the hairy creature put something FOREIGN ON MY NECK. I wanted to investigate it but I couldn't reach back there. I think the hairy creature put it there on purpose so that I would NEVER FIND IT. But the hairy creature was only partially right, because I knew there was SOMETHING FOREIGN ON MY NECK.
I have heard about this sort of thing happening to humans. I think they call it ALIEN ABDUCTION. Humans get abducted lots, and some humans get abducted lots more than others.
I am good at logic, so I am pretty sure I will see the hairy creature again. But the aliens that take humans don't have any hair. So I guess I was ABDUCTED BY SPECIAL CAT ALIENS.
I think I should make myself a hat out of tinfoil, but first I think I will make sure the tinfoil tastes okay.
My one mom (with the tasty hair) put me in THE PURPLE BOX OF DEATH last Friday. I complained all the way to the car, to no avail. Then the car started vibrating and making that soothing humming noise and we were moving and all was better. Eut then we were in front of a BIG SCARY BUILDING and it just went DOWNHILL FROM THERE.
I don't know what happened next. But then I found myself crawling out of THE PURPLE BOX OF DEATH onto a COLD METAL TABLE. I am pretty sure I have been there before and some yucky stuff happened those times too.
Then this WEIRD HAIRY CREATURE appeared in front of me. It looked like my moms but it had HAIR ON ITS FACE as well as on its head. My moms have long hair on their heads and no hair on their faces, but this one had short hair on its head and on its face. Normally I would want to taste new things like that but I was unable to move and get a better look at it.
Then the hairy creature PROBED ME IN A VERY PERSONAL REGION. I was really offended but too scared to do anything. Also I was still too scared to taste its hair. Then I was being carried into another secret chamber and POKED AND PRODDED SOME MORE.
When I was carried back into the room with the COLD METAL TABLE, the hairy creature PINCHED MY NECK and then I really couldn't move. I felt the hairy creature put something FOREIGN ON MY NECK. I wanted to investigate it but I couldn't reach back there. I think the hairy creature put it there on purpose so that I would NEVER FIND IT. But the hairy creature was only partially right, because I knew there was SOMETHING FOREIGN ON MY NECK.
I have heard about this sort of thing happening to humans. I think they call it ALIEN ABDUCTION. Humans get abducted lots, and some humans get abducted lots more than others. I am good at logic, so I am pretty sure I will see the hairy creature again. But the aliens that take humans don't have any hair. So I guess I was ABDUCTED BY SPECIAL CAT ALIENS.
I think I should make myself a hat out of tinfoil, but first I think I will make sure the tinfoil tastes okay.
Labels: trauma
