you can't eat that!
5:35 PM Eastern Time
Friday, October 06, 2006
Nuzzling the hand that shoos you
Gentle readers, you may be wondering how I remain so well-adjusted despite the incredible stress of NOT BEING ABLE TO SNACK FREELY.
We cats have fairly short attention spans. We are also very distractible. For example, sometimes I might be staring at a spider that is crawling about in a most interesting fashion, and then all of a sudden I realize MY TAIL HAS GOT SCHMUTZ UPON IT and to be perfectly honest the spider gets a lot less interesting. And maybe then, after practicing good hygiene, I go off and CHEW ON A PLASTIC BAG, having completely forgotten about the spider. And maybe then, in the middle of my snacking, one of my moms will come up behind me and it will be all BAD CAT! CATS DO NOT EAT BAGS!
(Which, of course, we most certainly do. Otherwise, WE WOULD NOT HAVE BLOGS.)
And then maybe I will keep chewing on the bag because this is the one thing that holds my interest for hours. My one mom, with the tasty hair, says this is not unlike people with ADHD, who are able to concentrate for hours only while playing video games. But my situation is different, you see, because video games are always changing (which according to my one mom is why people with ADHD like them so much), whereas plastic bags don't really change all that much. Except for how much cat slobber they accumulate before I am BUSTED.
So then maybe my mom will forcibly redirect me. By this I mean she will PICK ME UP AND PUT ME SOMEPLACE ELSE, and when I go back later to look for the bag, IT ISN'T THERE ANY LONGER. Maybe I will be really insulted for a few minutes, but I cannot hold a grudge. And so then I will be very sweet and nuzzly toward my mom.
This is also true when I have my nails clipped. I whine and groan and cry during my involuntary pedicure, and my moms go on about how CAT, YOU BREAK MY HEART BUT YOUR CLAWS ARE SO LONG THEY PIERCE MY LEG THROUGH MY JEANS, and it's all very unpleasant and insulting. Then my mom who is clipping my nails will let me go, and I will climb off her lap and stand right next to her for some petting.
My post-traumatic snuggliness confuses both my moms greatly. I heard them mention the other day something called STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. But really? I am just a sucker for attention, though I have very little of it myself.
We cats have fairly short attention spans. We are also very distractible. For example, sometimes I might be staring at a spider that is crawling about in a most interesting fashion, and then all of a sudden I realize MY TAIL HAS GOT SCHMUTZ UPON IT and to be perfectly honest the spider gets a lot less interesting. And maybe then, after practicing good hygiene, I go off and CHEW ON A PLASTIC BAG, having completely forgotten about the spider. And maybe then, in the middle of my snacking, one of my moms will come up behind me and it will be all BAD CAT! CATS DO NOT EAT BAGS!
(Which, of course, we most certainly do. Otherwise, WE WOULD NOT HAVE BLOGS.)
And then maybe I will keep chewing on the bag because this is the one thing that holds my interest for hours. My one mom, with the tasty hair, says this is not unlike people with ADHD, who are able to concentrate for hours only while playing video games. But my situation is different, you see, because video games are always changing (which according to my one mom is why people with ADHD like them so much), whereas plastic bags don't really change all that much. Except for how much cat slobber they accumulate before I am BUSTED.
So then maybe my mom will forcibly redirect me. By this I mean she will PICK ME UP AND PUT ME SOMEPLACE ELSE, and when I go back later to look for the bag, IT ISN'T THERE ANY LONGER. Maybe I will be really insulted for a few minutes, but I cannot hold a grudge. And so then I will be very sweet and nuzzly toward my mom.
This is also true when I have my nails clipped. I whine and groan and cry during my involuntary pedicure, and my moms go on about how CAT, YOU BREAK MY HEART BUT YOUR CLAWS ARE SO LONG THEY PIERCE MY LEG THROUGH MY JEANS, and it's all very unpleasant and insulting. Then my mom who is clipping my nails will let me go, and I will climb off her lap and stand right next to her for some petting.
My post-traumatic snuggliness confuses both my moms greatly. I heard them mention the other day something called STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. But really? I am just a sucker for attention, though I have very little of it myself.
Labels: modus operandi
