you can't eat that!
9:24 PM Eastern Time
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Movie night
Last night my mom with the comfy lap wanted to clean the house. My mom with the tasty hair wanted to watch a movie. All three of us were very surprised. Normally it is my mom with the tasty hair who wants to clean the house, and my mom with the comfy lap who wants to watch a movie. So they decided to clean the house first and then watch a movie as a reward.
For me this was both good and bad. When the house is clean, it means THERE ARE FEWER THINGS AVAILABLE UPON WHICH I CAN SNACK. This is a good thing for my moms but a bad thing for me. When my moms watch a movie, it means MY MOMS HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO PET ME. This is a good thing for me but a bad thing for my moms, because it is all CAT, I AM TRYING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE BUT YOUR BUTT IS IN THE WAY.
While my moms cleaned the house, I hid under the couch upstairs and fretted about this apparent zero-sum game. But then, when it was time for the movie, I realized that the situation was not so bad after all--
--for last night's showing included POPCORN.
I did my best to stay away from the popcorn during the movie because my moms think I do not like popcorn. My moms are very wrong. They base their opinions on a couple of times when they had offered me some popcorn, thinking I would like it because it is greasy and salty; and yet I did not partake of it. My moms did not consider the fact that I had just eaten dinner and so did not have any room left for popcorn. (Sometimes I do actually know my limits.)
A similar thing happened last night involving dinner and popcorn, only it was my moms' dinner and my moms' lack of room for popcorn. They were very tired after the movie and did not remember to put away the leftovers on their way to bed.
Early this morning, around 6:30, I went on my pre-dawn constitutional about the house. And there, by the television, was the forgotten bowl of popcorn! I sampled some of it. It was definitely last night's popcorn, but I have been known to eat even extremely old items if they are of interest.
My mom with the comfy lap came in and banished me from the rest of the popcorn. I thought she would sleep through my munchings, as she usually does; but I was wrong. My mom with the tasty hair was mostly sleeping when my other mom came back to bed, but she wanted to know what was going on. And my mom with the comfy lap said, WE ATE POPCORN.
And my mom with the tasty hair said, YES, WE DID EAT POPCORN LAST NIGHT, not realizing that my other mom was using THE ROYAL FELINE WE and not the regular kind of we.
And my mom with the comfy lap said, NO, I MEAN THE CAT WAS EATING THE POPCORN SO I THREW IT AWAY.
Then both my moms went back to sleep and I curled up with them a little while later. I thought all was forgiven, but then I got breakfast late because it was all CATS NEED TO WAIT FOR BREAKFAST IN CASE THEY PUKE UP THE POPCORN.
I did not, in fact, puke up the popcorn, so this all struck me as rather CRUEL AND UNUSUAL. Next time there is movie night, I will have to be a lot sneakier about the popcorn.
And for the record: I have never puked up any popcorn.
For me this was both good and bad. When the house is clean, it means THERE ARE FEWER THINGS AVAILABLE UPON WHICH I CAN SNACK. This is a good thing for my moms but a bad thing for me. When my moms watch a movie, it means MY MOMS HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO PET ME. This is a good thing for me but a bad thing for my moms, because it is all CAT, I AM TRYING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE BUT YOUR BUTT IS IN THE WAY.
While my moms cleaned the house, I hid under the couch upstairs and fretted about this apparent zero-sum game. But then, when it was time for the movie, I realized that the situation was not so bad after all--
--for last night's showing included POPCORN.
I did my best to stay away from the popcorn during the movie because my moms think I do not like popcorn. My moms are very wrong. They base their opinions on a couple of times when they had offered me some popcorn, thinking I would like it because it is greasy and salty; and yet I did not partake of it. My moms did not consider the fact that I had just eaten dinner and so did not have any room left for popcorn. (Sometimes I do actually know my limits.)
A similar thing happened last night involving dinner and popcorn, only it was my moms' dinner and my moms' lack of room for popcorn. They were very tired after the movie and did not remember to put away the leftovers on their way to bed.
Early this morning, around 6:30, I went on my pre-dawn constitutional about the house. And there, by the television, was the forgotten bowl of popcorn! I sampled some of it. It was definitely last night's popcorn, but I have been known to eat even extremely old items if they are of interest.
My mom with the comfy lap came in and banished me from the rest of the popcorn. I thought she would sleep through my munchings, as she usually does; but I was wrong. My mom with the tasty hair was mostly sleeping when my other mom came back to bed, but she wanted to know what was going on. And my mom with the comfy lap said, WE ATE POPCORN.
And my mom with the tasty hair said, YES, WE DID EAT POPCORN LAST NIGHT, not realizing that my other mom was using THE ROYAL FELINE WE and not the regular kind of we.
And my mom with the comfy lap said, NO, I MEAN THE CAT WAS EATING THE POPCORN SO I THREW IT AWAY.
Then both my moms went back to sleep and I curled up with them a little while later. I thought all was forgiven, but then I got breakfast late because it was all CATS NEED TO WAIT FOR BREAKFAST IN CASE THEY PUKE UP THE POPCORN.
I did not, in fact, puke up the popcorn, so this all struck me as rather CRUEL AND UNUSUAL. Next time there is movie night, I will have to be a lot sneakier about the popcorn.
And for the record: I have never puked up any popcorn.
Labels: people food
Comments:
<< Home
Josie, my mom (who also has tasty hair) said I should read your blog. I think that's because I ate something very interesting today. It was an 'African Violet', and it was in a hanging pot on the side of my mom's loft. She'd just put it there, and then she went to work. Well, when something is new or hanging off the side of something or, you know, holding still - that means you should taste it, right? This makes perfect sense to me. I've not had much luck explaining it to my mom, though.
-Oliver
Post a Comment
-Oliver
<< Home
