you can't eat that!

I believe that the best time for investigation is the night. Of course, I do not need much light to see. So I spend much of the day time sleeping, or rather STORING UP ENERGY FOR MY NIGHTTIME EXCURSIONS, and then once my moms are in bed I go about my work.

This arrangement makes my moms very nervous. Unlike me, they are not nocturnal. Thus, when they go to bed at night, they expect to stay in bed until the morning. If I make too much suspicious noise, one of my moms will come and chase me out of whatever I was doing. But it's not always the same one of my moms. Usually it is my mom with the tasty hair, but sometimes she convinces my other mom, the one with the comfy lap, to come after me.

Often I will curl up with my moms when they get into bed, but then after a few minutes I will depart for my prowl. Other times I finish whatever it is I am doing upstairs before I come down to join them. If I am not there right when they get into bed, my moms will page me. At first it is all JOOOOOO-SIEEEEE! which is how my mom with the comfy lap does it. And then it is all WHEEEEEEEERE'S JOSIE? from my mom with the tasty hair. I am proud to say that I come when I am called, but at night it has to be my mom with the comfy lap first and then my mom with the tasty hair. Sometimes I can hear my mom with the comfy lap being all HEY, YOU CALL HER, SHE LIKES THE WAY YOU DO IT BETTER, but really it has nothing to do with preference and everything to do with routine.

So I dutifully come to hang out with my moms on the bed, and sometimes this includes a bit of MARCHING BACK AND FORTH before settling. But then I hear the call of the wild paper bags, and I go off to pursue solitary activities.

I think, though, that my moms must be able to read my mind. Before I even begin my explorations, it is all CAT, COME BACK HERE! I DON'T TRUST YOU! or CAT, I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO THE KITCHEN TO BE BAD. And because I feel obligated to come when I am called, I stop what I am doing and return to the bed for a little while.

Most of the time I get antsy and have to be called back to the bed at least two more times before I am able to proceed without interruption. But when I am feeling exceptionally patient, I snuggle with my moms until they fall asleep, and then I go to pick up where I left off. What my moms don't know about my nocturnal investigations can't hurt them, unless I PUKE UP THE SUBJECTS EARLY IN THE MORNING and thereby cause them much irritation.

Labels: modus operandi