you can't eat that!
2:55 PM Eastern Time
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
No kidding, you can't eat that.
My moms are always going on about how the only things I am really allowed to eat are CAT FOOD and CAT TREATS. Of course this does not really stop me from attempting to sample other types of cuisine, including people food, hair, floor candy, and plastic bags.
I am very sad that now SOME CAT FOOD IS NOT FOR CATS. I am especially sad that it is my favorite kind, with CHUNKS AND GRAVY, which has been recalled because some other cats got very sick from it. In my opinion, if it is called CAT FOOD then it should be SAFE FOR CATS TO EAT.
We had some CHUNKS AND GRAVY in the house when it was recalled. My mom with the tasty hair got very nervous about this, but thankfully all the cans had been made before the ones that were recalled and I am feeling quite fine in the renal department, thank you.
But now we have only SOLID ENTREE in the house, the kind with TURKEY AND GIBLETS, which was previously my favorite. I still like this kind very much, but NOTHING COMPARES TO CHUNKS AND GRAVY.
(For the record, my favorite part is the GRAVY, which I like to slurp up before I eat even a single CHUNK.)
I am very sad that now SOME CAT FOOD IS NOT FOR CATS. I am especially sad that it is my favorite kind, with CHUNKS AND GRAVY, which has been recalled because some other cats got very sick from it. In my opinion, if it is called CAT FOOD then it should be SAFE FOR CATS TO EAT.
We had some CHUNKS AND GRAVY in the house when it was recalled. My mom with the tasty hair got very nervous about this, but thankfully all the cans had been made before the ones that were recalled and I am feeling quite fine in the renal department, thank you.
But now we have only SOLID ENTREE in the house, the kind with TURKEY AND GIBLETS, which was previously my favorite. I still like this kind very much, but NOTHING COMPARES TO CHUNKS AND GRAVY.
(For the record, my favorite part is the GRAVY, which I like to slurp up before I eat even a single CHUNK.)
Labels: trauma
12:49 AM Eastern Time
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Yes, I WOULD like fries with that. Thanks for asking.
Last night my mom with the tasty hair went out for some dinner with Charlie and Lucy's mom.
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My mom with the comfy lap did not go because she had HOMEWORK to do. I do not quite know what HOMEWORK is, but it usually involves my mom with the comfy lap sitting around for a very long time while looking at books and sometimes also at the computer. Which means that for several hours at a time I have pretty much unbridled access to her very comfy lap.
But sometimes my mom with the comfy lap does her HOMEWORK at the dining room table, which means she is sitting on a WOODEN CHAIR and that is a place where I am NOT ALLOWED TO BE. So I stage a little sit-in every now and then. I sit at her feet and do my best to convey aloud my internal state, which is of course one of INTENSE DISPLEASURE AND INSULT.
Last night, though, my mom was doing her HOMEWORK on the couch, and I was minorly interested for a while. And then I became minorly disinterested, so I went upstairs to see what there was to be seen. Pretty soon the doorbell rang, and it was my mom with the tasty hair. She was BEARING GIFTS for my mom with the comfy lap, which pleased my one mom greatly.
I didn't so much care for the one gift, which was made out of STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM and as I have previously noted, I really do prefer the kind that is MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP. But I did care very much for the other gift, which smelled an awful lot like my most favorite snack of all, which is POTATO CHIPS.
I snooped and sniffed and generally investigated in the vicinity of these a lot. I made my desire for them quite unambiguously known, but all I got was a BOP ON THE NOSE and it was all CATS DO NOT GET TO EAT FRENCH FRIES.
And so I went upstairs for a while JUST TO PRETEND THAT I WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. After a few minutes, when I thought maybe my moms had forgotten about my interest in the FRENCH FRIES, I came back downstairs and re-commenced my snooping and sniffing and general investigating. But then out of nowhere came another BOP ON THE NOSE and I had to re-evaluate my strategy again.
This re-evaluation ended up taking me a really long time. By the time I'd come up with a new plan, THE FRENCH FRIES WERE ALL GONE and my mom with the comfy lap was getting ready to go to bed, where my mom with the tasty hair was already sleeping. So not only did I not get any FRENCH FRIES, but also I missed out on the last installment of HOMEWORK.
This made me very sad indeed. Sometimes I think life is just not fair.
My mom with the comfy lap did not go because she had HOMEWORK to do. I do not quite know what HOMEWORK is, but it usually involves my mom with the comfy lap sitting around for a very long time while looking at books and sometimes also at the computer. Which means that for several hours at a time I have pretty much unbridled access to her very comfy lap.But sometimes my mom with the comfy lap does her HOMEWORK at the dining room table, which means she is sitting on a WOODEN CHAIR and that is a place where I am NOT ALLOWED TO BE. So I stage a little sit-in every now and then. I sit at her feet and do my best to convey aloud my internal state, which is of course one of INTENSE DISPLEASURE AND INSULT.
Last night, though, my mom was doing her HOMEWORK on the couch, and I was minorly interested for a while. And then I became minorly disinterested, so I went upstairs to see what there was to be seen. Pretty soon the doorbell rang, and it was my mom with the tasty hair. She was BEARING GIFTS for my mom with the comfy lap, which pleased my one mom greatly.
I didn't so much care for the one gift, which was made out of STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM and as I have previously noted, I really do prefer the kind that is MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP. But I did care very much for the other gift, which smelled an awful lot like my most favorite snack of all, which is POTATO CHIPS.
I snooped and sniffed and generally investigated in the vicinity of these a lot. I made my desire for them quite unambiguously known, but all I got was a BOP ON THE NOSE and it was all CATS DO NOT GET TO EAT FRENCH FRIES.And so I went upstairs for a while JUST TO PRETEND THAT I WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. After a few minutes, when I thought maybe my moms had forgotten about my interest in the FRENCH FRIES, I came back downstairs and re-commenced my snooping and sniffing and general investigating. But then out of nowhere came another BOP ON THE NOSE and I had to re-evaluate my strategy again.
This re-evaluation ended up taking me a really long time. By the time I'd come up with a new plan, THE FRENCH FRIES WERE ALL GONE and my mom with the comfy lap was getting ready to go to bed, where my mom with the tasty hair was already sleeping. So not only did I not get any FRENCH FRIES, but also I missed out on the last installment of HOMEWORK.
This made me very sad indeed. Sometimes I think life is just not fair.
Labels: people food
