you can't eat that!

This afternoon my mom with the tasty hair happened to witness a somewhat humiliating situation. She had come into the bedroom for something or other just as I was about to PUKE UP SOMETHING VILE. My mom with the tasty hair announced this impending event to my mom with the comfy lap just as I EXPELLED A RATHER NASTY MASS UPON THE CARPET.

My mom with the comfy lap offered to clean it up. Both my moms went about assembling the cleaning supplies. I meandered into the kitchen to bathe myself in an attempt to pretend that NOTHING WHATSOEVER HAD JUST OCCURRED, but I knew that my ruse was completely ineffective.

My mom with the comfy lap engaged in a quick game of CSI: CAT PUKE and discovered that there were two distinct sources of my gastric distress. (I could have told my moms this myself, if only they understood MEOWING.)

The first component was CASHEWS.

And it was all HONEY, HOW DID THE CAT GET INTO THE CASHEWS? and SHE MUST HAVE FOUND SOME WHEN I WAS MAKING THE CURRY and CAT, WHY DO YOU EAT CASHEWS OFF THE FLOOR? YOU DO NOT LIKE NUTS! and JUST BECAUSE IT FALLS ON THE FLOOR DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO EAT IT.

The second component was TAPE.

I think I should get at least a little bit of credit here. After all, the house is still full of CARDBOARD BOXES and those are covered in TAPE OF ALL KINDS which is just BEGGING TO BE SAMPLED.

But no, it was all DUMB CAT, WHY DO YOU PERSIST IN EATING TAPE? and CASHEWS AND TAPE ARE A REALLY DISGUSTING COMBINATION and THAT IS NOT HOW TO GET YOUR DINNER TO STICK TO YOUR RIBS, YOU SILLY BEAST!

Rest assured, I learned my lesson. Cashews and tape do not go well together at all. Next time I will EAT THEM SEPARATELY.

Labels: floor candy, trauma