8:08 PM Eastern Time
Monday, April 14, 2008


Set for life

My mom with the tasty hair is very good at something my other mom, the one with the comfy lap, calls RECTIFYING THINGS. My mom with the tasty hair believes that THINGS SHOULD WORK RIGHT THE FIRST TIME and therefore when something does not work right the first time, she feels the need to FIX IT. And if it still does not work right the second time, my one mom can get pretty beside herself.

I can understand where my one mom is coming from. When it is time for my breakfast or my dinner, and my moms are not acknowledging my EXTREME HUNGER, I can get pretty beside myself. Before I resort to EMERGENCY SUSTENANCE PLAN ALPHA, I state my complaint very clearly and repeatedly. This, I gather, is the essence of RECTIFYING THINGS.

Shortly before the kitten arrived, my mom with the tasty hair decided it was time to address the matter of the IMPOSSIBLE-TO-OPEN CANS OF CAT FOOD. Iams had changed their recipe, which pleased me greatly, but they had also apparently changed the type of metal in the can, which displeased my moms and me alike. My mom with the tasty hair had especial difficulty with the cans in the morning. The pull-tab would come off without opening the can, and then she would have to use the can opener, and that take A VERITABLE ETERNITY and meanwhile I would be DYING OF STARVATION AT HER FEET. So one morning, while my other mom was still asleep, my one mom called up Iams to complain.

My mom with the tasty hair tells me that the Iams lady was very apologetic and asked her how many cans had given her problems. My mom estimated that it was about eighteen. So the Iams lady said she would send my mom some replacements. This was all very well and good, but then my mom with the comfy lap (when she finally woke up) was all SO ARE WE GETTING EIGHTEEN CANS OF FREE CAT FOOD THAT WE CAN'T OPEN? and my mom with the tasty hair was all WELL, PROBABLY, BUT FREE CAT FOOD IS FREE CAT FOOD.

I could not agree more.

Unfortunately, no free cat food was delivered to our house. However, EIGHTEEN COUPONS FOR FREE CAT FOOD were delivered to our house. My mom with the tasty hair was amused to see that each coupon was redeemable for AN ENTIRE CASE OF CAT FOOD. I did some quick calculation and realized that this totals TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN CANS OF FREE CAT FOOD.

My mom with the comfy lap then went out to get some of this marvelous free cat food. She told my mom with the tasty hair that the cashier had been all WHAT IS UP WITH THESE FUNKY COUPONS? I HAVE SEEN A FEW OTHER PEOPLE WITH THEM. This amused my mom with the tasty hair even more. I guess RECTIFIERS flock together.


I was just telling Manders about this, and she said that I need to go buy her some Iams to complain about.
Ah, Iams and their stupid cans. The Iams kitten formula is what my foster kittens are on and they, too, carry this annoying habit of being difficult. At least you got a huge amount of free food out of it, hard to open or not!
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